The Quote Garden ™
I dig old books. ™
Yardwork & House Repairs
The year is divided into four seasons: Shoveling, seeding, mowing and raking. ~William D. Tammeus, in Kansas City Star, as quoted by The Reader's Digest, 1980
Th' feller that owns his own home is allus jist comin' out o' a hardware store. ~Kin Hubbard ("Abe Martin")
I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home. ~Nancie J. Carmody
By then most of the leaves have fallen. That's the final job, those leaves. You can wait only for so long for the wind to blow them away. Eventually you have to get out the rake and go to work. ~Hal Borland, "Wild Goose Call," November 1967
There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. ~Joe Ryan, as quoted in The Reader's Digest, 1978
You may feel that you are only patching up the house a little, so that it will be more comfortable to live in, but what you are really doing is inviting good temper, cool judgment, a happy heart, and the joy of life to come and dwell with you. ~Franklin Berry
I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. ~C. E. Cowman, unverified
The distant lawnmower scents the air with green. ~Derek Jarman (1942–1994), "Green Fingers," Chroma: A Book of Colour — June '93, 1994
A man builds a fine house; and now he has a master, and a task for life: he is to furnish, watch, show it, and keep it in repair, the rest of his days. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
You know what really upset me about our house? When I heard a termite refer to it as junk food! ~Robert Orben, 2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches, 1984
The Storm abates where Walls are Weatherproof;
The Deluge pours upon the Leaky Roof.
~Arthur Guiterman, "Of Buildings," A Poet's Proverbs, 1924
One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop. ~G. M. Weilacher [Sometimes I'm asked about this author, but unfortunately I have no information. This quote was submitted to me in 2002 by an anonymous visitor and my research to find the original source has yet to come up with anything. —tg]
The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it. ~Author unknown
I fought the lawn and the lawn won. ~Internet meme
...old Houses mended,
Cost little less than new, before they're ended...
~Colley Cibber, The Double Gallant: or, The Sick Lady's Cure, 1707
So the bottom line is that home centers are even worse than lumberyards as a source for lumber. The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes. ~Dave Barry
A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. ~James Dent, in The Charleston Gazette, as quoted by The Reader's Digest, 1994
Leaf-blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s. ~Christopher Patrick, 2017
A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule. ~Michael Pollan, Second Nature, 1991
I'm sexy and I mow it. ~Internet meme, 2011
There's one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. ~Clyde Moore, unverified
Houses are the opposites of ourselves, and begin their existence by being skeletons. ~Charles Searle, Look Here!, 1885
My neighbor asked me if he could borrow my lawnmower. I told him he could — as long as he didn't take it out of my yard. ~Author unknown
Maggie: Oh, Henry, you finished raking those leaves already.
Henry: Well, you can never really finish raking leaves.
Maggie: Why's that?
Emily: Because God made too many of them.
~Alena Smith and Ken Greller, "I am afraid to own a Body," Dickinson, 2019 [S1, E5 —tg]
It is easier to get paint in your hair than get it out. #DIYtips ~Andy Lee, @andrewdotlee, tweet, 2012
Husbands are things that wives have to get used to putting up with,
And with whom they breakfast with and sup with...
And when it's a question of walking five miles to play golf they are very energetic but if it's doing anything useful around the house they are very lethargic,
And then they tell you that women are unreasonable and don't know anything about logic...
~Ogden Nash (1902–1971), "What Almost Every Woman Knows Sooner or Later"
Think of raking leaves as Mother Nature's way of getting you in shape for shoveling snow. ~John Wagner
Rural and suburban householders are busy now with rake and fork and harrow, cleaning and neatening the dooryard, the lawn, and the garden. Everything must be in order for the winter. But down the road and across the valley, where autumn itself is in charge, nobody is bothering about the unkempt look...
Man must rake and cart away, to soothe his conscience and proclaim his tenancy. Nature doesn't bother. The tree thrives on its own trash and the seed sprouts in its parent's midden heap. Each new spring grows on autumn's leftovers. ~Hal Borland, "Autumn's Leftovers," November 1975
What's th' good of havin' any yard?
Pushin' a lawn mower 's awful hard.
Pa an' ma they talk, an' both look wise,
Sayin' it will give me exercise.
Ain't I gettin' exercise enough?
Bet you pa ain't muscled half as tough!
We raise grass enough for all th' town—
Soon as it comes up we cut it down!
~Wilbur D. Nesbit, "The Queerness of Parents," in Clare A. Briggs, When a Feller Needs a Friend, 1914
Home would not be home to me without a lawn... Consider the many special delights a lawn affords: soft mattress for a creeping baby; worm hatchery for a robin; croquet or badminton court; baseball diamond; restful green perspectives leading the eye to a background of flower beds, shrubs, or hedge; green shadows — 'This lawn, a carpet all alive / With shadows flung from leaves' — as changing and as spellbinding as the waves of the sea, whether flecked with sunlight under trees of light foliage, like elm and locust, or deep, dark, solid shade, moving slowly as the tide, under maple and oak. This carpet! What pleasanter surface on which to walk, sit, lie, or even to read Tennyson? ~Katharine S. White (1892–1977), "For the Recreation & Delight of the Inhabitants," Onward and Upward in the Garden, 1962
When you use a push reel mower, you're "cutting" down on pollution and the only thing in danger of running out of gas is you! ~Terri Guillemets, "Today's labor," 2005 [Better yet, plant a vegetable garden instead of a lawn! See Heather Jo Flores' Food Not Lawns at foodnotlawns.com for details. —tεᖇᖇ¡·g, 2014]
Rake leaves or move? I can't decide. ~John Wagner
published 2002 May 4
revised 2020 Jul 7
last saved 2022 Apr 3